Well, I suppose it's about time eh?
"When last we saw Hammy..."
I was very, very pregnant and waiting for the birth of our first baby. My due date was December 14th. My friend T and her mom dropped by the evening of the 12th to deliver some baby clothes donated to the cause by T's brother and sister-in-law. T's mom is also an awesome person who wanted to check up on me and see the baby's room.
I woke up at about 4am on the morning of the 13th with what felt like cramps. My belly was upset (my actual stomach, not the baby), and I visited the bathroom several times thinking "Great, just what I need now is mild food poisoning." Now, I had been feeling crampy and stuff for a little while, but it was more like a joint ache - I figured my poor pelvis and hips were just trying to adjust to my increasing girth.
So, I go down into the livingroom to read. But the cramps aren't going away. Is this labour? How the hell am I supposed to know, I've never done this before. Gah! It's a little before 6am when I go and wake Mr. Hammy. "Are you in labour?" he asks. See above comment. Gah! We actually pull out the baby books and start comparing the symptoms of false labour and real labour. Things are starting to really hurt, but there's no discharge, no water, no nothing.
We call the hospital to see if we should come in; they are wishy washy. "Well, if you can't handle it, it's time to come in." What the hell does that mean?? I start writing down the time and duration of the cramps/contractions after I get out of the shower. Things are about 3.5 minutes apart, and lasting for around 35 seconds by the time we get into the car for the (thankfully) short drive to the hospital. (There is a funny story about the list I made of times and such, but that's a post-baby portion of the story.)
By the time we get there, I am really uncomfortable. Good thing we decided to get to the hospital, because by the time they get me in a gown and check things out (by the way: OUCH!!!), I am already 5 cm dilated and they ask me if I want an epidural.
(To recap, I am technically halfway through labour and my water has not broken nor have I experienced any discharge/loss of plug. Sorry to gross anyone out, but ladies out there should know that it is possible!)
Now, you may recall that I am TERRIFIED of needles and this whole pregnancy thing has been a trial for me. And an epidural is a big ass needle that they place into your spine to decrease the pain of labour. While I'm deliberating whether I'm brave enough for this, the contractions continue. I pace like a caged animal. I can't sit, stand, assume any position that makes it any better. Just for the record, contractions feel like the worst menstrual pains you've ever experienced...times a gajillion. I felt like my insides were being raked and pulled.
The intern in the room looks over at me and says "I can tell you for sure that things are not going to get easier from here."
Blink. "Good point." I say "Bring on the epidural guy."
Next up: The joy of modern medicine, and why you should pack a lunch for delivery.