Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Long time, no blog

Well, I suppose it's about time eh?

"When last we saw Hammy..."

I was very, very pregnant and waiting for the birth of our first baby. My due date was December 14th. My friend T and her mom dropped by the evening of the 12th to deliver some baby clothes donated to the cause by T's brother and sister-in-law. T's mom is also an awesome person who wanted to check up on me and see the baby's room.

I woke up at about 4am on the morning of the 13th with what felt like cramps. My belly was upset (my actual stomach, not the baby), and I visited the bathroom several times thinking "Great, just what I need now is mild food poisoning." Now, I had been feeling crampy and stuff for a little while, but it was more like a joint ache - I figured my poor pelvis and hips were just trying to adjust to my increasing girth.

So, I go down into the livingroom to read. But the cramps aren't going away. Is this labour? How the hell am I supposed to know, I've never done this before. Gah! It's a little before 6am when I go and wake Mr. Hammy. "Are you in labour?" he asks. See above comment. Gah! We actually pull out the baby books and start comparing the symptoms of false labour and real labour. Things are starting to really hurt, but there's no discharge, no water, no nothing.

We call the hospital to see if we should come in; they are wishy washy. "Well, if you can't handle it, it's time to come in." What the hell does that mean?? I start writing down the time and duration of the cramps/contractions after I get out of the shower. Things are about 3.5 minutes apart, and lasting for around 35 seconds by the time we get into the car for the (thankfully) short drive to the hospital. (There is a funny story about the list I made of times and such, but that's a post-baby portion of the story.)

By the time we get there, I am really uncomfortable. Good thing we decided to get to the hospital, because by the time they get me in a gown and check things out (by the way: OUCH!!!), I am already 5 cm dilated and they ask me if I want an epidural.

(To recap, I am technically halfway through labour and my water has not broken nor have I experienced any discharge/loss of plug. Sorry to gross anyone out, but ladies out there should know that it is possible!)

Now, you may recall that I am TERRIFIED of needles and this whole pregnancy thing has been a trial for me. And an epidural is a big ass needle that they place into your spine to decrease the pain of labour. While I'm deliberating whether I'm brave enough for this, the contractions continue. I pace like a caged animal. I can't sit, stand, assume any position that makes it any better. Just for the record, contractions feel like the worst menstrual pains you've ever experienced...times a gajillion. I felt like my insides were being raked and pulled.

The intern in the room looks over at me and says "I can tell you for sure that things are not going to get easier from here."

Blink. "Good point." I say "Bring on the epidural guy."

Next up: The joy of modern medicine, and why you should pack a lunch for delivery.


Arethusa said...


cramps times a gajillion? It's a good thing Hamlet looks sooooo cuuuuuuute.

darth said...


mrs. darth and i went to all those classes, and i listened half-heartedly to all the "signs" of labour-the contractions (real vs. false), the "plug", the water breaking..and, damned if it didn't progress EXACTLY like the dr. predicted! :)) even to the point of the plug thing? the dr. said, "and guys, your wife will bring it to you and say "is this the plug thing?", so don't be grossed out". and that's exactly what my wife did.."hey, is this it? that plug thing??" :))

and she still remembers the epidural with great, great, great fondness.

Hammy said...

arethusa, I'm guessing that labour is one of those "it's not the same for everyone" thingys. But, I've also decided that most women lie about their pregnancy/labour experiences.

I'm the girl who tells the truth!

Oh sure darth, steal my textbook labour and delivery. Grr!

The plug thing didn't show up until we were in the hospital...

infobabe said...

lol i posted prematurely on your next post :P

so far, yours is sounding pretty familiar.

except i know i lost my plug before we left the house. my husband didn't get to share it with me since it dropped into the toilet.

ok TMI I think :D


darth said...

in our case, the plug did fall in the toilet, but was still shared, debated, and discussed, and there ya go, even more TMI!!!

Arethusa said...

Oh god...

I'm going to adopt.

Madame D said...

I didn't lose the plug at any point I'm aware of, so it probably happened at some point during the whole "Oh god I'm really having him" stage.
Yeah, nobody tells you what labor REALLY feels like. Like cramping.
Though, I got no drugs. I was too far along when we got to the hospital (he was a preemie). That was nice to be told.

Hammy said...

arethusa my love, good plan. :)

madame: I had one friend who mentioned that it felt like cramping. But not that it felt like CRAMPING! Was your little guy okay, showing up early and all? I imagine you were more focussed on that than anything else...