Saturday, July 08, 2006

Bracing for impact

My mother arrives this afternoon. We're excited as she hasen't seen Hamlet, her one and only grandchild, since January when he was mere weeks old. He's now almost 7 months and a vigorous personality in his own right.

Her sister (E) has also decide to come along - I have mixed feelings about this. My mother's sister is also my godmother. She was 15 when I was born and the baby of her family. Perhaps my mom wanted to include her in the much-anticipated birth of the first grandchild/neice? I've never asked my mom why...

I grew up in a fairly small town. All of my mother's family lived in the same town and were very involved in each other's lives. Until I graduated from High School, my godmother (and later her husband) made much of me. I was their "baby". E would buy cards for me that were intended for Mothers, and write "God-" in front of the text. I was smart, hard-working, and good. Until I moved away.

University wasn't so bad, only a 45 minute trip down the highway, but it was the beginning of my "out of sight; out of mind" sentence. Then, a couple of years after graduation I decided to move to another province with my boyfriend (eventually husband). I was esentially forgotten as folks on the homefront settled down to their factory jobs and illegitimate children - much more interesting than my budding career and foray into a Masters' degree. My uncle didn't even come to my wedding as it was "too much family crap" for him. My godmother so resented having to travel and the money spent (and I think, resented not being the actual mother of the bride and therefore focus of attention) that she gave me $50 for a wedding present. I give $50 to people I barely know. Quite a fall from favour wouldn't you say?

Now, my grandmother (her mother) was E's best friend. She passed away in 2003 and it was devestating for all of us. This spring, E's husband died. She is lonely and alone. And all of a sudden I'm interesting again. She has called more since Hamet was conceived/born then in the previous 9 years combined. I am not a fan of "fair-weather friends" - and that's what this feels like. So I'm not sure how I will respond to this visit...the fall from my former pedestal was painful, and I am not interested in being dumped again.

Nor am I interested in having E horn in on my mother's role as a grandparent.

Excited and apprehensive; what a lovely combination.

Sunday, July 02, 2006


We were supposed to head to the in-laws today for a BBQ. My sister-in-law, who is 24, has landed her first real job. Yep, she's building a website and gathering a database of contacts for eco-friendly services in her area. So, we're celebrating....

Woo freakin' hoo. For additional fun, we'll probably open some envelopes and gasp in awe. Don't get me wrong, she's a good person, but a bit of a flake. And I just don't get how my in-laws seem to applaude every move both my sisters-in-law make (and chalk up even the most horrendous mistakes to "at least they had fun", or "it's a learning experience" while ignoring the bone-headedness that got them into the jam in the first place), but are quite dismissive of my husband's achievements.

Oh yes, the reprieve part. Today, it rained. Not surprising considering the weather here lately, but nonetheless. so my mother-in-law decided she didn't want to have a dinner if we couldn't sit outside. Hence, we stayed home.

And after I spent all that time teaching the baby to fake-cough....

(I shouldn't get too excited; we're going tomorrow.)

Saturday, July 01, 2006

So long solitude

And I have to say, I'm not sorry.

Mr. Hammy is a teacher, which means he finished work on Tuesday. And by "finished work" I mean "spent half the day golfing". Does this make anyone else question their choice of careers? Of course, I couldn't have survived (read: the children wouldn't have survived) a Grade 6 classroom for the school year. We all have our strengths.

So, what this means is that I no longer have to pilot this parenting boat by myself during the day. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Hammy is a great Dad - poopy diapers, feeding, bathing; nothing is too yucky as long as he gets to spend time with his boy (they're great to watch together). But, it is hard to be a stay at home Mom. It's far more isolating than you think; social visits require the planning and tactical execution of a hostile takeover. And the person whom you spend the most time with (ie. Hamlet) is a great love, but slightly light-ended on conversation.

This summer as a family will be filled with visits and travel, but hopefully we've left enough time for the three of us to revel in our new family-ness.

First up: My mother arrives on the 8th of July. Oh, and she's bringing her sister (my godmother) which is a mixed bag at best.

All hail Hamlet, the Great Distractor!!!