Saturday, July 08, 2006

Bracing for impact

My mother arrives this afternoon. We're excited as she hasen't seen Hamlet, her one and only grandchild, since January when he was mere weeks old. He's now almost 7 months and a vigorous personality in his own right.

Her sister (E) has also decide to come along - I have mixed feelings about this. My mother's sister is also my godmother. She was 15 when I was born and the baby of her family. Perhaps my mom wanted to include her in the much-anticipated birth of the first grandchild/neice? I've never asked my mom why...

I grew up in a fairly small town. All of my mother's family lived in the same town and were very involved in each other's lives. Until I graduated from High School, my godmother (and later her husband) made much of me. I was their "baby". E would buy cards for me that were intended for Mothers, and write "God-" in front of the text. I was smart, hard-working, and good. Until I moved away.

University wasn't so bad, only a 45 minute trip down the highway, but it was the beginning of my "out of sight; out of mind" sentence. Then, a couple of years after graduation I decided to move to another province with my boyfriend (eventually husband). I was esentially forgotten as folks on the homefront settled down to their factory jobs and illegitimate children - much more interesting than my budding career and foray into a Masters' degree. My uncle didn't even come to my wedding as it was "too much family crap" for him. My godmother so resented having to travel and the money spent (and I think, resented not being the actual mother of the bride and therefore focus of attention) that she gave me $50 for a wedding present. I give $50 to people I barely know. Quite a fall from favour wouldn't you say?

Now, my grandmother (her mother) was E's best friend. She passed away in 2003 and it was devestating for all of us. This spring, E's husband died. She is lonely and alone. And all of a sudden I'm interesting again. She has called more since Hamet was conceived/born then in the previous 9 years combined. I am not a fan of "fair-weather friends" - and that's what this feels like. So I'm not sure how I will respond to this visit...the fall from my former pedestal was painful, and I am not interested in being dumped again.

Nor am I interested in having E horn in on my mother's role as a grandparent.

Excited and apprehensive; what a lovely combination.

1 comment:

infobabe said...

How did it go??????