Sunday, January 23, 2005

Let it snow, let it snow......uh fuck that

Blizzard "warning". How does that account for the fact that it has been snowing since I got up this morning and contintues to snow now? I tell you, after last week, I'm not busting my ass to get to work tomorrow. Nosireebob.

It's been an oddly melancholy day. I've been doing some sorting and re-storing, and I keep running across pictures and notes from friends and family. A small piece of lined paper from my great-grandmother telling me how proud she is of me ( I think it was dated 1987 - I was 15). A card from my Nan signed with a happy-face and many x's and o's. A tear-stained letter from a friend as she moved to the other end of the country, when we'd spent 2 years establishing the friendship of a lifetime.

I was one of those priviledged kids who was surrounded by family and grandparents as I grew up. I know how lucky I was, but sometimes it's jarring when you realise how much you've actually lost.

I was trying to explain it to my husband over Christmas. Five or seven years ago, when everyone was still where they were supposed to be, I hated spending Christmas with his family. Because it wasn't my Christmas, and my Christmas was happening somewhere without me. But now, my Christmas doesn't exist anymore because the places and people are gone. And that's harder.

My heart is full of the people I've loved and I hold tight to their stories and their voices. It's just difficult to remember when a picture or a glimpse of handwriting takes your breath away.....


4 comments:

Emily the Cat said...

!!!!!!!!!!

Hammy has a blog and I DIDN'T KNOW!!!!

GRRRRRRRRRR!

I blame darth! :mad:

darth said...

WTF?? HAMMY HAS A BLOG???

Arethusa said...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, someone has some explaining to do!

Gorgeous Girl said...

Hammy has a blog Hammy has a blog Hammy has a blog.

b